About a month ago, Shay West sent out a message to one of her followers on Twitter: “Hope Tuesday is a beautiful green day for you! Trying to go greener for my son w/ autism.”

These days, some people go green or organic to save the planet. But there are others like West implementing “green parenting” strategies in hope of preventing or combating developmental disorders like autism. While there is no consensus on the causes of autism or how to treat it, a growing number of doctors, parents, and experts in the field say that environmental toxins trigger and exacerbate autistic symptoms.

“I think if you’re in the autistic community you realize there’s a lot of suggestion that environmental triggers may explain autism,” said Jennifer Taggart, 40, mom of two, author, and founder of the Smart Mama blog. “A lot of people think about how they can improve their environment when they have kids—if they have an autistic child, they are even more concerned.”

Three recent studies found a link between children’s exposure to household pesticides and autism. A study released by Environmental Health News this week reported that children who live in homes with vinyl floors are twice as likely to have autism.

“Autistic children are genetically more susceptible to environmental toxins—there is no question about that,” said Dr. Stuart H. Freedenfeld, who has treated over 1,000 autistic children at his family practice in Stockton, New Jersey. Freedenfeld treats autistic children with a complex process involving nutrient supplements and detoxification for heavy metals.

“When we treat children with autism we don’t say stop using chemicals, and we’ll see you in six months.“ But others think these are just more dubious attempts by desperate parents looking for a lastditch effort to help their kids. In a recent article published on Slate.com, Sydney Spiesel, a pediatrician in Woodbridge, Conn., and clinical professor of pediatrics at Yale University´s School of Medicine, made the point clear: “Medications, new styles of teaching, classical psychological conditioning, physical manipulation, vitamins, diets, special eyeglasses—many kinds of treatments have been proposed and tried, but few have been tested in a rigorous way.” His ultimate conclusion is that “people who work with autistic clients often come to depend on their own sensitivity and empathy to judge whether a treatment has had a positive or negative impact.”

This could be the case for West, who said that after she worked with a doctor in Greenville, SC—doing a mild detoxification process to take heavy metals out of her son’s system—she has also been very sensitive about the chemicals she cleans her house with and the food her son eats. “I’m trying to make sure that everything that goes into his body is meant to be good for his body,” West said. Patricia S. Lemer is co-founder and the Executive Director of Developmental Delay Resources (DDR), an international, nonprofit organization integrating conventional and holistic approaches for children with developmental delays.

“Once you know your kid is sick and you know he’s toxic, the smart thing to do is to green your house,” said Lemer, author of the book Envisioning a Bright Future: Interventions that Work for Children and Adults on the Autism Spectrum. “Many doctors don’t know about this: they are drinking Cokes and eating Twinkies and cleaning with Mr. Clean.”

The upswing in green parenting encourages parents to clean with natural cleaning agents. While Savedge and Taggart both mix cleaners with vinegar, lemon and baking soda, there are plenty of green cleaners on the market. Probably the only thing people agree on is that fewer toxins can’t hurt. “Toxins aren’t good for anybody. However, so many children with autism have a decreased detoxification ability so there’s a priority on not exposing them to any additional toxins,” said Teri Arranga, director of AutismOne and mother to a 10-year-old son with autism. “Autism is a whole body condition just like many other diseases, and autism is absolutely treatable.

A few years ago, Eric Childs’ boss gave him a bottle of fermented Kombucha tea when he complained of feeling sick, and soon, he got “really into it.”

After talking to 23-year-old Childs about Kombucha for a few minutes, I felt myself getting really into it, too. Childs says that drinking the nutrient-rich tea has given him more energy, boosted his metabolism, cleared up his skin and cured the terrible heartburn he used to take medication for.

“My personal philosophy about Kombucha is that it works with the drinker to aid in what their body needs,” says Childs, who calls himself the “Kombuchman” and went through “a personal health revolution” after he started drinking the tea. “And what I’m most blown away by is that I haven’t had a cold for three years. My immune system is off the charts, and this I attribute to the ‘Buch and the lifestyle that has come with it.’”

Kombucha converts such as Childs don’t seem to mind that the drink tastes nothing like tea, but more like palatable vinegar with strange strands of live culture floating in the effervescent fizz. Childs says he generally opens up a bottle of ‘Buch in the morning and drinks 4-ounce portions throughout the day. For a novice Kombucha drinker, he recommends starting with 8 ounces a day.

The beverage has begun to show up at delis and bodegas in the city, but because store-bought Kombucha retails for around $5 dollars a bottle, Childs started to experiment with the scientific brewing process at home once he got hooked on his expensive tea habit. After tweaking his recipe and methods, he was giving away his brew to friends and family. By January of this year, he was bottling 12 cases every two weeks.

Childs is currently in the process of setting up a proper brewery and launching a Brooklyn-based Kombucha company by the summer. He plans on selling 16-ounce bottles of Kombucha Brooklyn for $3, less than the average price of what’s on the market. “I’ve always wanted to start a business that I could reach people with,” Childs explains. “And I found this beverage that I’m not only extremely passionate about—it does wonderful things for you.”

“As soon as you drink it, you can immediately feel it in you,” Childs says, doing what he loves: preaching about the ‘Buch. “What I say is, ‘Drink the revolution!’”

So you want to try brewing up some Kombucha at home? To get more intimate with the process and learn some of his trade secrets, sign up for a brewing class with Childs at the Brooklyn Kitchen or contact him directly through his website, www.binbkombucha.com.

Here are some tips from Eric Childs:

• First, find a glass jar with a wide opening.

• Brew a very strong batch of black tea (Kombucha does best with black tea, Childs explains) and let it steep about 20 minutes. In a one-gallon jar, use eight tea bags and fill the jar halfway.

• Once you have a really strong tea, remove the bags and add a cup and a half of sugar.

• After the tea has cooled, acidify the tea by adding apple cider vinegar or already brewed Kombucha to protect the culture and prevent bacteria growth.

• Drop in your “SCOBY” (symbiotic culture of bacteria and yeast). SCOBYs are readily available on websites like Kombucha Exchange.

• Now you’ve begun the fermentation process. Cover your jar with a cloth that allows the Kombucha to breathe but doesn’t allow anything in.

• Let the Kombucha rest undisturbed for six to 12 days at a temperature between 74 and 84 degrees. “Temperature will play the biggest role,” Childs says. “If you can keep a consistent temperature, you’re going to have a great Kombucha. The culture is a living thing and consistency is very important.”

• Over the course of eight days, the mother culture you dropped in is converting sugars in the teas and converting new culture on the top of the jar.You will see a thin, gelatinous layer growing on top. How do you know it’s ready? “Once you have Kombucha that has a nice tart zing, but a little sweetness— you can still taste the tea but a sour apple taste begins to show,” explains Childs. “You draw both the cultures, and you have bottle-ready-buch.”

In the center of the famous Gleason’s Gym in Dumbo, Keisher “Fire” McLeod- Wells is throwing expert blows at a punching bag steadied by her husband, Flaco Wells.

For “Fire,” who has won 12 amateur championship titles, including the New York Golden Gloves and two world titles, boxing has been a way of life since a trainer discovered her in 2002. Back then, she was boxing to stay toned for her modeling and acting career.

She met her husband Flaco through a friend two years later, and the couple would often spar together. “Naturally, he was stronger than me,” she said. “But he knew how much I could take. Sometimes when I was mad—I could go all out.” Flaco shook his head. “She punched me in the ribs once and put me to the floor.” Unfortunately, Flaco did have to give up the sport after a car accident last year. “It was more fun for me,” added Fire, who made and won her professional debut this past week. As some amateur couples start jumping in the ring to spar on one another, relationship and fitness experts are saying it may be a good way to get a great workout and keep the sparks flying.

“A lot of people think romance is about candlelit dinners,” said Rachel Sussman, a relationship expert based in New York City. “But if you really want to keep a relationship alive, you want to either teach each other new things or have new experiences together. So I’d encourage a couple to try something like boxing.”

Sarah Brokaw, a couples therapist in Manhattan and California who also boxes, says boxing can be a way for women to show their physical strength in heterosexual relationships.

“Is it for every couple? No,” Brokaw said. “But if you’re in a healthy relationship, it allows the man to look at his partner through a different lens. Even if we’re in a progressive society, there are still lots of myths that men have about women and women have about men. Ironically, it can be an aphrodisiac for men to see this in women.”

At Aerospace High Performance Center in the Meatpacking district, co-founder Leila Fazel says she does see couples joining the gym and getting in the ring together.

“It’s always the women throwing the punches and the men being more cautious at first, but then after a while they sort of find a rhythm,” Fazel said. “I think it brings out parts of people’s personality the partner wouldn’t normally be exposed to.” Beyond the couples’ boxing, John E. Oden, author of White Collar Boxing: One’s Man’s Journey from the Office to the Ring says that anyone who starts training may, like him, be helped both mentally and physically.

“I’ve picked up courage, confidence, and discipline,” said Oden, who is now working on a book about life lessons he has learned in the ring. “In business, it’s then taught me commitment, focus, and preparation. All these things that I do for boxing, I now do for business as well.” Bruce Silverglade, president and owner of Gleason’s Gym since 1983, says boxing is a tremendous release to “get frustrations out.” Additionally, Silverglade says the reason droves of people don’t come out to box is because it is so difficult. “We have people who come into boxing from other gyms—they’re runners or other athletes,” Silverglade said. “Within three minutes, we can get them exhausted.”

Silverglade added that even if some couples, like Fire and Flaco, have taken jabs at one another in the ring for practice, most couples do come in separately to train.

Leyla Leidecker met her husband Yuri Foreman, an undefeated junior middleweight boxer, at Gleason’s seven years ago. While the couple comes to Gleason’s every day to train, they do not get in the ring together.

“We are at very different levels of boxing,” said Leidecker, a filmmaker who produced and directed a 2008 film about The Golden Gloves.

“He’s a professional, well-known boxer. I am a retired amateur boxer.” “We did spar a couple times,” Foreman said. “But then, we’re not so into sparring with each other.”

It was just  before last Christmas that Heather Steinbrink found out that she and her 4-year-old daughter Audrey had to cross Christmas cookies, crackers and gravy-soaked mashed potatoes off their list of holiday indulgences.

After Steinbrink’s mother was diagnosed with Celiac disease—a form of gluten intolerance remedied with a gluten-free diet— she and her daughter also tested positive.

Approximately 12 million Americans suffer from food allergies, with 6.9 million allergic to seafood and 3.3 million allergic to peanuts or tree nuts, according to the American Academy of Allergy, Asthma and Immunology.

If you or one of your family members do have a food allergy or intolerance and you want to eat, drink and be merry this holiday season, there are some simple tactics you can take to make holiday eating safe. Steinbrink, 39, says she and her family have found gluten-free recipes they’ve tried to be “hit or miss.” “We did last Thanksgiving gluten-free and this Thanksgiving gluten-free,” Steinbrink said. “We made the gravy without wheat flour, but it wasn’t as good. We made cornbread stuffing, but that wasn’t the same either.”

But Terry Traub, a food allergy expert and author of the new book, Food to Some, Poison to Others: The Food Allergy Detection Program, has made it her business to cook allergy-free meals that are also tasty.

“The trick to cooking allergy-free is not to make a separate meal for the family member who is allergic,” Traub explained. “The secret is to find safe recipes that the whole family can enjoy.”

Over the years, Traub’s kitchen has become a laboratory where she’s tested recipes that her sons and her husband—all of whom have Celiac disease—can enjoy. For Thanksgiving, she cooked an organic turkey, gluten-free stuffing (recipe below), organic mashed potatoes and pumpkin chiffon pie with a rice crust. According to Traub, her guests who didn’t know her meal was allergen-free “didn’t know the difference.”

Traub adds that allergy-free cooking is just cooking with a different mind-set. “When you’re trying to thicken something, you just pull out the rice flour instead of the wheat flour,” Traub explained.

Native New Yorker Sloane Miller, a foodallergy coach and advocate who runs the organization Allergic Girl Resources, has suffered from food allergies her whole life. Miller believes that communication is key when it comes to managing food allergies during the holidays or any other season.

“Speak to the host of the party as soon as you’re invited,” Miller said. “Explain your needs and communicate clearly, concisely and politely.

In
the best-case scenario, a restaurant or hotel will say they’d be happy
to help you. If it’s a family meal, always offer to bring something
that everyone can enjoy that’s free of an allergen.”

And, if
all else fails and you’re going to a holiday event where you know
there’s going to be chestnut stuffing and you have a nut or gluten
allergy, Miller advises having a small dinner before you leave so you
won’t find yourself “starved, anxious, hungry and angry.”

Even
those who don’t suffer from food allergies will feel better eating more
mindfully during holiday feasts. “People feel bad eating over the
holiday season because they’re overindulging in foods they don’t
normally eat,” said Daniel Hoffman, associate professor of nutritional
sciences at Rutgers University, adding that the stress of being around
family can trigger gastrointestinal problems. “Drinking water is always
helpful. A lot of people will head straight to the alcohol, [which is
dehydrating,] and then overeat.”

Terry Traub’s Savory Chicken (Turkey) Stuffing AF (Dairy-free, Egg-free, Corn-free, Gluten-free)

1 homemade, day old, gluten-free bread, crust removed, cubed

3 tablespoons canola oil

1 cup celery, chopped 1 cup onion, chopped

3/4 to 1 cup Chicken Stock* or Organic Chicken broth

2 tablespoons margarine, melted, dairy-free, corn-free

1 teaspoon poultry seasoning

1 teaspoon sage

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

Slice
bread and let it dry out for 2 hours. Cut bread into cubes and put into
bowl. In saucepan, place oil and heat. Add onion and celery, sauté 3 to
4 minutes or until onions are transparent. Cool slightly and add to
bread cubes. Add liquids, margarine and spices. Mix together and put
into 2-quart casserole dish, cover. Bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees.
Uncover and cook for another 10 minutes.

“The changes are certainly reflective of the chain-storing of the East Village,” says Andrew Berman, executive director of The Greenwich Village Society for Historic Preservation. And he’s not kidding—even the Continental looks more like Mars 2112 than Mars Bar these days. To get a sense of how the St. Marks stretch has changed, we look back at four St. Marks strongholds that could not resist gentrification.

129 SAINT MARKS PLACE That Was Then: Stingy Lulu’s Cheap and bohemian, this 1950s-style diner opened in 1992 with drag queen waitresses who served up cheap, watery drinks to drag queens and the drunk punks steering clear of Olde English 40s for the evening.

This is Now: Hop Devil Grill A Belgian bar with a snazzy website, blog and the tagline, “A Helluva Good Time.” It had been closed for renovations until Dec. 3, but it’s way more of a drag than a drag show.

24 SAINT MARKS PLACE That Was Then: Dojo The place to go for cheap vegetarian and Japanese fare, especially if you wanted to sit on the patio and talk smack to passersby.

Many lament the closing of Dojo, which still has a location open in Greenwich Village but can only employ half as many smackedout, hippie waitresses.

This is Now: Pinkberry For the five bucks you could use to buy your entire carrot-saucesoaked lunch at Dojo, you can now afford an upscale frozen yogurt. Korean Americans started the franchise, so the green tea flavor with mochi reminds us of Dojo’s ghost.

7 SAINT MARKS PLACE That Was Then: Religious Sex A cult store that sold fetish clothing to celebrities, wackjobs, Goths and the middle-aged men who bought their leather outfits for them. Known for an extensive collection of cone bras and velvet dresses, the store was both mocked and revered by St. Marks regulars.

This is Now: Klong Restaurant A moderately priced Thai/Japanese restaurant that may or may not be popular with wackjobs, Goths and the middle-aged men who buy their leather outfits for them.

15 SAINT MARKS PLACE That Was Then: Coney Island High The legendary punk club owned by D Generation hunk Jesse Malin.

Coney hosted rollicking shows by everyone from seminal acts like Choking Victim to punk godfather Iggy Pop, was the original home of Britpop clusterfuck TisWas and hosted raver mainstay Konkrete Jungle (downstairs, natch), making it one of the most popular Downtown venues.

This is Now: Condos Yes, condos: for all of those people who want to pay out the ass to live on a noisy, crowded, dirty street where nobody wants them. Living here is the East Village equivalent of building atop an Indian burial ground.

SOON AFTER I started taking antidepressants in my early twenties, I moved to Paris, armed with my pills and a note from my doctor for airport security explaining why I had enough medication in my suitcase to cheer up a small country.

I don’t remember what I was taking at the time—probably Paxil or Prozac—but I do remember sitting on a barstool in the Young and Happy youth hostel about a week later (subconsciously, I must have believed moving into the Young and Happy would mean moving to a place packed with people whose boundless joy would rub off on me) talking to an Australian guy who wanted to split a bottle of red wine. Pairing red wine with the Australian should have been the beginning of a fast friendship, but I’d just starting feeling not-so-depressed weeks earlier, and the “do not drink alcoholic beverages” warning on the orange bottles in my suitcase flashed in my mind. “I can’t drink,” I told him. “Why not?” It was as if I’d told him I had herpes.

“It gives me migraines,” I said, stating my rehearsed excuse. So the Australian drank a beer, I drank soda, and the night fizzled out in the way nights tend to fizzle—apparently—when two strangers meet and there’s no alcohol to act as social lubricant.

Soon, I felt like a grandma: I had always depended on beer and wine to help out when I wasn’t having any fun at all. Within weeks of moving into a new Paris apartment with new friends who liked to party, I gave up and started pouring myself glasses of wine. When I didn’t black out or throw up or flip out, I decided that “do not drink” while taking antidepressants really meant, “do not get completely and utterly shitfaced” while taking your pills. Years later, I’ve maintained this policy, and I’d all but forgotten about my prohibition days in Paris until this weekend, at a close friend’s wedding.

Early in the evening at the wedding, my date—an old friend—told me he couldn’t drink. “Why?” I asked him. Suddenly I was the dumbfounded, Australian critic and my friend was put in my awkward place. “I just started taking a new antidepressant,” he answered, more honestly than I ever had this question.

“Oh,” I said, wanting to add, that’s never really stopped me. Nor has it stopped most Americans, it seems. Antidepressants are now the most commonly prescribed medications in America, according to a 2007 Center for Disease Control study, and there’s no evidence to suggest that a rise in prescriptions has curbed our American drinking habits. The Canadian Medical Association Journal did report in a 2007 study that for men, antidepressants slightly reduced alcohol consumption, but strangely, the prescriptions did not reduce consumption for women.

In any case, most of us know what we’re supposed to do when we’re depressed: get out special advertising section of bed, go to the gym, eat healthy food, see friends, sleep well, talk to a therapist and, in general, do all of the things we don’t feel like doing because we’re depressed. Getting drunk isn’t on the list. However, like staying in bed all day, it’s one of those bad-for-you activities that’s especially alluring to a person feeling down. And while it’s clear that smoking leads to lung cancer and fast food leads to obesity, most people are unclear of the true dangers associated with a Prozac-laced-cocktail.

Not surprisingly, the health risks of drinking on antidepressants really depend on what antidepressant you’re taking. Dr. Kelly Brogan, a Manhattan-based psychiatrist, explains that drinking increases the side effects of antidepressant medications because alcohol competes with the medication for enzymes in the liver responsible for eliminating the medication from the body. While SSRI medications such as Prozac, Celexa and Zoloft are not likely to have “serious adverse effects” in combination with alcohol, Brogan said drinking does increase the sedating effect of tricyclics like Elavil and Pamelor.

Perhaps most importantly, Brogan added, is that alcohol can counteract the work of an antidepressant because it’s a psychoactive substance associated with depression and anxiety.

I guess this means that drinking that Prozaclaced cocktail is not so much dangerous as it is stupid—like following a Weight Watchers plan by day and scarfing down cupcakes by night.

Still, even if many of us know that the short-term high of the cupcake or the beer probably defeats our long-term health goal, we often lack the discipline to say no to Australians who want to split bottles of red wine with us. And besides, I could have ordered up the bottle of red wine that night and just had a few sips, right? Unless we’re alcoholics who need to sober up entirely, a plan to drink more responsibly is perhaps more realistic than a plan to not drink at all. As for my friend at the wedding this weekend, he managed to avoid the open bar through the cocktail hour, but that was the extent of his sticking to his no-drinking plan. Later, I asked him what made him change his mind about drinking at the wedding and he just stated, definitively: “Weddings are more fun when you drink.”

I don’t remember what I was taking at the time—probably Paxil or Prozac—but I do remember sitting on a barstool in the Young and Happy youth hostel about a week later (subconsciously, I must have believed moving into the Young and Happy would mean moving to a place packed with people whose boundless joy would rub off on me) talking to an Australian guy who wanted to split a bottle of red wine. Pairing red wine with the Australian should have been the beginning of a fast friendship, but I’d just starting feeling not-so-depressed weeks earlier, and the “do not drink alcoholic beverages” warning on the orange bottles in my suitcase flashed in my mind. “I can’t drink,” I told him. “Why not?” It was as if I’d told him I had herpes.

“It gives me migraines,” I said, stating my rehearsed excuse. So the Australian drank a beer, I drank soda, and the night fizzled out in the way nights tend to fizzle—apparently—when two strangers meet and there’s no alcohol to act as social lubricant.

Soon, I felt like a grandma: I had always depended on beer and wine to help out when I wasn’t having any fun at all. Within weeks of moving into a new Paris apartment with new friends who liked to party, I gave up and started pouring myself glasses of wine. When I didn’t black out or throw up or flip out, I decided that “do not drink” while taking antidepressants really meant, “do not get completely and utterly shitfaced” while taking your pills. Years later, I’ve maintained this policy, and I’d all but forgotten about my prohibition days in Paris until this weekend, at a close friend’s wedding.

Early in the evening at the wedding, my date—an old friend—told me he couldn’t drink. “Why?” I asked him. Suddenly I was the dumbfounded, Australian critic and my friend was put in my awkward place. “I just started taking a new antidepressant,” he answered, more honestly than I ever had this question.

“Oh,” I said, wanting to add, that’s never really stopped me. Nor has it stopped most Americans, it seems. Antidepressants are now the most commonly prescribed medications in America, according to a 2007 Center for Disease Control study, and there’s no evidence to suggest that a rise in prescriptions has curbed our American drinking habits. The Canadian Medical Association Journal did report in a 2007 study that for men, antidepressants slightly reduced alcohol consumption, but strangely, the prescriptions did not reduce consumption for women.

In any case, most of us know what we’re supposed to do when we’re depressed: get out special advertising section of bed, go to the gym, eat healthy food, see friends, sleep well, talk to a therapist and, in general, do all of the things we don’t feel like doing because we’re depressed. Getting drunk isn’t on the list. However, like staying in bed all day, it’s one of those bad-for-you activities that’s especially alluring to a person feeling down. And while it’s clear that smoking leads to lung cancer and fast food leads to obesity, most people are unclear of the true dangers associated with a Prozac-laced-cocktail.

Not surprisingly, the health risks of drinking on antidepressants really depend on what antidepressant you’re taking. Dr. Kelly Brogan, a Manhattan-based psychiatrist, explains that drinking increases the side effects of antidepressant medications because alcohol competes with the medication for enzymes in the liver responsible for eliminating the medication from the body. While SSRI medications such as Prozac, Celexa and Zoloft are not likely to have “serious adverse effects” in combination with alcohol, Brogan said drinking does increase the sedating effect of tricyclics like Elavil and Pamelor.

Perhaps most importantly, Brogan added, is that alcohol can counteract the work of an antidepressant because it’s a psychoactive substance associated with depression and anxiety.

I guess this means that drinking that Prozaclaced cocktail is not so much dangerous as it is stupid—like following a Weight Watchers plan by day and scarfing down cupcakes by night.

Still, even if many of us know that the short-term high of the cupcake or the beer probably defeats our long-term health goal, we often lack the discipline to say no to Australians who want to split bottles of red wine with us. And besides, I could have ordered up the bottle of red wine that night and just had a few sips, right? Unless we’re alcoholics who need to sober up entirely, a plan to drink more responsibly is perhaps more realistic than a plan to not drink at all. As for my friend at the wedding this weekend, he managed to avoid the open bar through the cocktail hour, but that was the extent of his sticking to his no-drinking plan. Later, I asked him what made him change his mind about drinking at the wedding and he just stated, definitively: “Weddings are more fun when you drink.”

“We didn’t want to be in a convention center,” says Lee Brian Schrager (pictured), director of the festival and creator of the first Wine and Food Festival in South Beach, Fla., in 2002. “What makes this very unique is that almost all of the events are integrated into the fabric of the Meatpacking District.”

And he doesn’t mean the faux fur of a tragic clubgoer’s out-of-date Ugg boots. The festival kicks off Thursday evening with “Chelsea After Dark,” which, like lots of the events, is already sold out. Ticket holders will get to meander around Chelsea Market, sampling delectable treats and sipping wine with Bobby Flay as their guide. Sounds like an OK way to spend a Thursday night, but we’re not devastated we don’t get to go. Nor are we upset that we’re missing Rachael Ray’s $200-a-head “Burger Bash” in Dumbo Friday night, where celeb chefs will compete for the bestburger title. After all, Ray’s incessant perkiness could prove nauseating, and we wouldn’t want to toss one of Tom Collichio’s patties.

One of the more exciting events is Friday night’s “Meatpacking Uncorked,” which is a little more foodie than Food Network. Starting at 6, more than 1,500 attendees will have special maps to lead them to wine tastings in shops and boutiques throughout the neighborhood.

If you don’t have tickets—or don’t want to go broke—stroll through the triangle at West 14th St. and Ninth Ave. on Saturday and sample snacks from Greenmarket farmers where chefs like Alex Guarnaschelli (Butter) and Peter Hoffman (Savoy and Back 40) will also be stationed.

One event we’re perplexed by is a Q&A on Sunday with the vegan-food harridans who wrote Skinny Bitches. If you’re going to buy tickets to anything, we say protest the bitches and find an event where you can eat a hunk of meat and wash it down with a cupcake. It’s a food festival, after all, so go big or stay home. —Michele Hoos

> New York City Wine and Food Festival

Oct. 9-12. For tickets and a complete schedule, call 866-969-2933 or visit www.nycwineandfoodfestival.com.