– Is it still performance art if nobody’s there to see it? A Chinatown artist strangled his new girlfriend to death and then slept beside her corpse for two nights. Before that, the couple went to a topless bar where Michael Lenahan bought his date a couple of lap dances, then they went back to his apartment, which he shares with his ailing grandmother. As if the date weren’t bad enough already, the next day Lenahan demanded the $50 he spent on lap dances back! When the woman refused, kicking him in the groin, he lost his temper. Lenahan was charged with second-degree murder and held without bail at his arraignment yesterday.

– It’s like the Jersey shore is actually seeking out new ways to make itself unattractive. If you rent a place in Sea Girt, don’t expect to play beer pong with your friends on the lawn or deck. In response to neighbors’ noise complaints, the council passed an ordinance that outlaws drink games played on private property but in public view. The penalty for a first offense is $100, and your pride.

–In an obscenely ageist move, Charles Friedgood, 89, the oldest inmate in the New York state prison system, has been denied parole. His crime? The wealthy Long Island heart surgeon was convicted in 1976 of injecting his ailing wife with a fatal dose of Demerol after being arrested at JFK trying to flee the country with more than $450,000 in cash and valuables from her estate to be with his girlfriend in Europe. And they didn’t let him out to enjoy the last 10 or so years of his life? For shame.

While some media outlets report that the teacher has yet to be identified, others have outed her as Dr. Madonna Constantine, whose books include “Addressing Racism.”

According to news reports, this type of thing isn’t unheard of at Columbia. There were six bias incidents on campus in the 2005-06 school year, including two students who were arrested after drawing swastikas and writing homophobic slurs in a dorm hallway. In 2004, there were three such incidents, including a racist cartoon mocking Black History Month. The media is drawing parallels to the “Jena Six” controversy in Louisiana.

But then there’s also the anti-gentrification movement, which must be made up of the post-menopausal set of LES locals. A community forum is scheduled for Thursday to discuss the rapid upscaling of the Bowery, with residents urging rezoning that would limit building heights and density.

Photo courtesy of moriza on Flickr

Photo courtesy of pixietart on Flickr

– Eight of 10 women polled said they would consider using handcuffs or a blindfold during sex, and 55 percent admitted they already have.
– Six out of 10 said they’ve hooked up with a guy on the first date.
– Seven out of 10 said they’ve fantasized about getting with a male friend.
– Four out of 10 say they have gone to a bar commando.

Sound hot? Yeah, we were thinking more lukewarm, too. And unfortunately, it jumps straight to creepy with the participants’ thoughts on “naughty” hook-up spots: 1,244 women listed a chicken factory, a nun’s car and Grandpa’s 80th-birthday party, among other less noteworthy responses.

If this doesn’t do it for you, try moving to Los Angeles or Miami, both of which came in ahead of New York out of the 10 cities surveyed. Check out the video that accompanies this ad campaign and ask yourself, does this portrait of female empowerment really seem so liberating? And moreover, does  it really seem so hot?

In other news, it seems a fake cop fondled a Long Island woman who notified the real police. We assume he wasn’t wearing AXE, ’cause then she woulda liked it.

Photo courtesy of Saharauiak on Flickr