Jonathan Ames: R.I.P. Jonathan Ames

Written by Jonathan Ames on February 6, 2012. Posted in Arts & Film, Books

So what’s the right path? How should I live? A few weeks ago, I was walking with my friend in Havana–we were on the boardwalk-like edge of the Malecon, the road that circles the city; the Atlantic was to our right; we were blinking because of the bright sun–and he is a little bit older
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Jonathan Ames: Killer Eggs, Hot Waitresses

Written by Jonathan Ames on February 6, 2012. Posted in Arts & Film, Theater

The eggs, enveloped by the butter, puckered and screamed out in pain and turned dark brown. I flipped them around a bit with my fork. I put two pieces of that thin German bread into the toaster. I poured a cup of very dark, ink-black coffee. A few minutes before, I hadn’t measured out the
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Jonathan Ames: Old Aunt Doris, Alone in Queens

Written by Jonathan Ames on February 6, 2012. Posted in Arts & Film, Books

I went out to Queens to take my Great-Aunt Doris to the doctor. I took the G train all the way from where I live in downtown Brooklyn to her neighborhood, Rego Park, which is right next to Forest Hills, which must be right next to Long Island. I always forget the exact geography, but
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Jonathan Ames: Breasts and Transhistories

Written by Jonathan Ames on February 6, 2012. Posted in Arts & Film, Books

In the late 80s and early 90s I was obsessed with women’s breasts to an appalling degree. Every woman I saw I wanted to nurse on. This obsessive state of mind, which I’ve since outgrown (now I want to go down on all women–much healthier, I think), was very painful. The world was filled with
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Jonathan Ames: Bruises Bruises Bruises

Written by Jonathan Ames on February 6, 2012. Posted in Arts & Film, Books

1990 was a bad summer. It should have been a good one but it was a bad one. I’ve pulled a lot of stunts in my day, mostly of the sick sexual variety, but that summer I reached a new low. Or a new high. It was so low it was high, if you know
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Jonathan Ames: Everybody Dies in Memphis

Written by Jonathan Ames on February 6, 2012. Posted in A Trip Through the Archives, Arts & Film, Books

About two hours after the Tyson-Lewis fight, after the arena had cleared out, after the final press conference, after 20,000 people had collectively shot some kind of cathartic wad of soul-semen and soul-pussy-juice, I found an exit and walked alone across a large, desolate parking lot and up a steep grass embankment. As usual I
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Wake Up, Sir!

Written by Jonathan Ames on July 27, 2004. Posted in Books, Posts

SCRIBNER, 352 PAGES, $23 IT’S HARD TO think of anything but hyperbole for the writing of Jonathan Ames. His novel The Extra Man was tops, one of those books that my friend passed to me and I passed to a friend in L.A., who also became a fan. Needless to say, I
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Everybody Dies in Memphis: Tyson, Lewis, the Land of the King

Written by Jonathan Ames on June 25, 2002. Posted in Miscellaneous, Posts

About two hours after the Tyson-Lewis fight, after the arena had cleared out, after the final press conference, after 20,000 people had collectively shot some kind of cathartic wad of soul-semen and soul-pussy-juice, I found an exit and walked alone across a large, desolate parking lot and up a steep grass embankment. As usual I
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Bruises Bruises

Written by Jonathan Ames on May 28, 2002. Posted in Posts

1990 was a bad summer
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I Guest-Directed a Porn Shoot

Written by Jonathan Ames on April 16, 2002. Posted in Miscellaneous, Posts

The Pop My Dad and I Visit a Porn Set Author’s Note: Vivid Video, Hollywood’s leading producer of porn, wanted some publicity, and so I was flown out to L.A. to be guest-director of one of their videos, the idea being that I would write about the experience. I didn’t understand, though, why a
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