“No” the judge simply said.  At that moment, you could actually see the heartbreak as he stared down helplessly at the floor, wondering if he had the will — and another quarter — to try again.

He came in third place.

This was consistent theme throughout the evening last Thursday at Brooklyn’s Barcade as Guinness World Records hosted a special event to give anyone willing a chance at making history by setting new records at a number of classic arcade machines.

The records that were up for grabs that night are as follows:

•    Fastest time to beat 5 levels on Ms. Pac Man
•    Fastest time to beat 5 levels on Tapper
•    Highest score in Out Run
•    Highest score in Ghosts N Goblins
•    Highest score in Donkey Kong (without using the hammer)

Doug Parsons, the Marketing Manager for Guinness: Video Game Edition said Barcade was a great place to host this event.

“This is an awesome arcade and one of the only few left in New York,” he said.  “It’s got a lot of great space and classic arcade machines.”

Indeed it does. 

This arcade/bar hybrid has nearly every old-school machine, from Rampage and Contra to Asteroids and Punch-Out. But how did Guinness know Barcade would be filled with potential record-breakers and not drunken casuals?

“We did a lot of internal research,” Parsons said.  “This is a well-known arcade in the community and is a popular place as discussed on message boards. We expect there to be some good players here.”

Parsons also explained Guinness wanted the records for tonight to be short and accessible, but also challenging enough to achieve.

But “challenging” is an understatement when considering the highest score in Ghosts N Goblins, according to Guinness’ records, is 1,000,100 set by David Nelson in 2004. The closest score of the night was 246,900 set by the Michael and Scott Muldoon. 

“No,” said Michael when asked if he thought he could beat the high score tonight.  “We just showed up hoping to maybe get lucky.”

In order to get the high score in Ghosts N Goblins, one can’t just complete the game.  It requires large amounts of extra time spent on killing re-spawning enemies and figuring out all the tricks in the game to maximize your score.

Parsons said attempts to “break” the game and get higher scores, such as causing glitches, are always debatable when considering new records.

“If it’s something questionable, we’ll find out if it’s a bug,” he said. “As long as it’s in the spirit of the game, any strategy goes.”

Despite all the attempts and failures, history was finally made at the Barcade Guinness event. 

Mike Przybocki set the record for the fastest time to beat 5 levels on the arcade game, Tapper, finishing with a time of 1’20"43. But Mike wasn’t satisfied, as he wanted to make sure his record was cemented and tried to beat his own record time.

“Tap-tastic” he exclaimed when describing how he felt knowing he was an official record-setter.

Also knotting a new record was Daniel Dujinc, who managed became the fastest player to beat the first five levels of Ms. Pac Man with a time of 2’05"80.

Looking to set a record? Parsons said you don’t have to be at an official Guinness event to have your name in the books, and there’s information on their website on what to do.

As for what type of records Guinness is looking for, well…they’re pretty open to anything.

"Any record is a record," Parson said.  "Something like the most gaming tattoos or fastest speed runs or collections." 

"We like records that capture the gaming culture."

So what are you waiting for? Start setting those records!

Photos by Jim Reilly

"This assertion is false and defamatory," Avery said. "I was never a client of Ms. Davis, nor of any prostitute.”

Using someone else’s name is one thing.  Hell, I used to say my name was Ned Flanders when I went out to eat just so my friends and I would chuckle as they announced the name so we could be seated, but his private number sets off alarms for me. Avery claims his “enemies” planted his private number, but how many people really know his phone number much less care enough to use it and his name to get sex? The whole situation is strange, and with all the prostitute scandals in the last month, it’s hard to believe anybody.

"I do know that if I ever was to venture into one of these establishments, I definitely wouldn’t use my own name," he said. "I think that that would probably be stating the obvious.”

That’s OK, Sean, just stick to what you’re good at.

Photo by Skate2Stick on Flickr

If you like video games, then you’ll love the Nintendo World Store at Rockefeller Plaza.  Even if you’re the parent of two annoying 10-year-olds who dreads the thought of going to a place that sells video games, you’ll still love this store.  This two-story fun house is jam-packed with stuff to look at and play around with.  It’s pretty much the video game equivalent of an Apple store—but with Pokemom. Lots and lots of Pokemon.

I swear, it’s more comfortable than it looks!  Ok, I lied.

If you’re old enough to remember what arcades were, then you’ll start seeing the similarities, except this is like an ’80s arcade on steroids.  There are wall-to-wall Nintendo Wii’s displayed on large plasma TV’s and rows of DS’s for you to quickly join in and play with. While there are you’re traditional Mario and Zelda games, there are plenty of simple, casual experiences for the older generation, such as bowling and tennis.  If you’re one of those people that are scared to play video games, there are plenty of salespeople who will assist you, too.

In the words of Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, "Classic, total classic."

Besides trying to get you to buy stuff, the Nintendo store hasn’t forgotten its history and displays many pieces of Nintendo-related art and pop-culture references since the company first started.  From the original Nintendo Entertainment System, to many pieces of fine art, the Nintendo store gives young gamers a glimpse into the past.



A charred GameBoy from the Gulf War still finds a way to play Tetris

While I was there, Ninja Gaiden for the Nintendo DS came out since the store was having a launch event. The producer of the game, Yosuke Hayashi, decided to come all the way over from Japan to sign autographs. Before showing up for the signing, I though to myself: “Does anyone know this guy?” Stupid me.  Not only was there a line of about 50 people wanting to meet him, there were also people there from as far as Columbia, South America and, of course, Japan. They weren’t all teenagers, either.  There were grown men who were clearly on their lunch break buying the game and standing in line. 

A fan gets to meet Mr. Hayashi.  At least he dressed for the occasion

Considering the only place I could try out video games for free 10 years ago were at Toy’s R Us and Sears, it’s pretty amazing to see how far they’ve come in expanding the market to other demographics.  Maybe, just maybe, this $10-billion industry will be taken seriously one day.

Donna Smith of Manhattan found out the hard way two years ago after a taxi jumped a curb and hit both she and her husband, Paul.  Donna is now crippled while Paul was pronounced dead at the scene.

"You have family that was destroyed, and a financial situation where this woman’s going to struggle to pay her bills for the rest of her life,” said their lawyer, John Zaremba. 

John also noted that if a tractor-trailer had hit the couple, the insurance payout would have been millions.

No charges were filed against the driver, Mohammed Chowdhury, who, according to their lawyer, apparently is still driving a cab.

There are plenty of ways, however, to get money out of the legal system.  Try lying and say you found something strange in your fast-food sandwich. Or beat yourself up and claim a co-worker did it.

Photo courtesy of boclcown on Flickr.

“Three or four have passed, maybe more," a maintenance worker at the ferry hub said Tuesday.

Maybe more?  You mean you don’t know?

The deaths remain a mystery.  There are, however, many theories and speculation leading to the culprit.  It’s suggested that there is a predator in the tank and it’s feasting on many of the confused, smaller fish still trying to get used to its new surrounding.

"When you open a fish tank, there’s a period when everything gets acclimated," said Staten Island Deputy Borough President Ed Burke. "We expect from time to time to lose a fish, the tank is under lots of care."

While all this apparent death occurring, it seems ferry goes couldn’t care less.

"So many fish in one tank, you wouldn’t expect all of them to live. [It's] survival of the fittest," said Gregory Goffphine, 40, from Staten Island.

"I don’t think it would bother me if I came here and saw one of the fish gone."

So there you go.  Fish are trying to fight for their lives and the only thing you people can do is turn the other way.  I suppose if the tanks were filled with puppies and they were killing each other, somebody would notice.

Photo by jmcdermott on Flickr

"I don’t think it’s the ideal location for a provocative business," said resident Bruce Osborne, 32, who has a 4-year-old son.

Well, where is the ideal location? You moved to New York because you thought it was the center of the universe, but now you don’t want to put up with all the bullshit that comes along with it? Seems like this is the smartest move a store that sells cute vibrators primarily to women could go: to the women who need a little more self-love than most.

I admit, I’ve never been to any sex shops before (I swear!), but I imagine Babeland is a safe and secure place to go in comparison to other smut sellers (none of that video room action that can be found at your local Unicorn). If I were a parent, I’d be more worried about the easy access to drugs and alcohol in the city rather than stores that sell dildos, but that’s just me.

For your edification, Babeland also has a blog.  It’s actually pretty informative.  I’m not vouching that it’s safe for work, so click at your own caution.

That’s right. Teachers against tests! What kind of world are we living in? What’s next? Friendly, patient NYC drivers?

"A child’s mind is a precious thing that’s growing every day," a female voice says during the new ad. "Standardized school tests can measure her progress in certain subjects, but NYC teachers believe it takes a well-rounded curriculum—including science, civics, language, arts and sports—to help young imaginations thrive."

Why all the fuss? Besides claims that they’re taking up too much class time, it was recently revealed to teacher’s union President Randi Weingarten that tests scores would be used to evaluate a teacher’s effectiveness and overall performance in the classroom.

“While testing is an important part of measuring student progress, it should not be done at the expense of educating the whole child," Weingarten said in a statement.

The ads will run in the city during news programs and shows such as 60 Minutes and Law and Order.

On the bright side, if you want to get back at a teacher you hate, just create some nice patterns, or better yet, use a #3 pencil! 

Photo by iliketunes on Flickr.

"This house is one of the most magnificent houses to ever come on the market because it has five rooms that have all the original detail in tact," said broker Paula Del Nunzio, who is selling the property for an investment group.

Two of the five floors have 17-foot tall ceilings, a marble staircase, and a stain-glass skylight. Sound intriguing?  Let’s see: if eight million of us should chip in $8 dollars each, we could just buy the place.

By the way, in case you were wondering, the most expensive residence on the market right now is the triplex penthouse at the Pierre Hotel on Fifth Avenue, which is up for grabs for $70 million.

Hey! We should all chip in and….ah forget it.

Robert Burck, aka that half-naked, singing cowboy at Times Square, is suing the pants off of Mars Inc.
(makers of M&M’s) for trademark infringement. A recent video
billboard advertisement depicts a blue M&M in cowboy boots and a
hat playing guitar for several seconds.  The ad was designed to attract
customers to the Times Square M&M’s store, but Burck is seeking $6
million plus additional damages saying they stole his character.

"All I’ve got is my underwear. It’s the most brilliant thing that’s
ever been created from a marketing perspective. You can’t stop it,"
said Burck.

He’s right.

Not only is he going to win this lawsuit, he’s going to become a
multi-millionaire for spending some years half naked in public playing
guitar. 

I guess the moral of this story is if you do something stupid for a
very long time, someone will eventually give you a lot of money.

"It took years for people not to say that’s a stupid idea,” added Burck

Enjoy your money, cowboy.

Photo by tsmyther on Flickr.

Despite being self-conscious about my own appearance, I enjoyed the show. The sound quality was perhaps the most impressive component; it wasn’t too loud (I’m looking at you Mars Volta!) and none of instruments or vocals drowned each other out, either. They played mostly songs from their latest album, Walking with Strangers, but they all sounded the same to me.  

The lead singer is a woman named Chibi (yeah, I don’t know either). Her girly-girl antics on stage made me puke a little in my mouth, but she worked the crowd really well and all the teenybopper, high-school goth girls went insane. I’d much rather see her on Suicide Girls than wailing on-stage. In the meantime, I just need to get “Kill Me” tattooed on the inside of my lower lip so I can fit in better at the next show.

Photo by John Reilly