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New Knicks Face New Celtics

Written by Jason Singer on October 17, 2007. Posted in Posts, Sports

Tonight’s preseason game against the Celtics will be a good measure of how good or bad the Knicks might be this season. Sure, they’ll be bad off the court; that goes without saying. After all, their coach sexually harasses employees and their star offseason acquisition, Zach Randolph, likes to punch teammates in the face, carry
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Yankeesâ€™ Brass Meets; No Decision Yet

Written by Jason Singer on October 17, 2007. Posted in Posts, Sports

In a meeting that has received more attention than most G8 summits, The New York Yankees’ top executives gathered yesterday in Tampa to decide the fate of manager Joe Torre. What did they decide? Absolutely nothing, of course. (Come to think of it, that actually sounds about as productive as a G8 summit). Meanwhile, possible
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Giants Squash Falcons

Written by Jason Singer on October 16, 2007. Posted in Posts, Sports

I’ll admit it: It sucks to be a New York sports fan right now. The Mets’ historic fall from Grace in September could have made even Mike Tyson blush. The Yankees haven’t won a World Series in seven years and have spent more than $1.5 billion during that stretch to acquire their exceptional group of
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Monday Night Mayhem

Written by Jason Singer on October 15, 2007. Posted in Posts, Sports

The Atlanta Falcons have had their share of problems this year. In the offseason, their star quarterback spent his time murdering dogs; maybe you heard about this, maybe you didn’t. Next, their star cornerback went Chris Bridges on head coach Bobby Petrino, berating him on national television. Then last week, the team lost Wayne Gandy—the
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The War On Bad Grades

Written by Jason Singer on October 15, 2007. Posted in Education, Posts

How do you get high-school students to study more? According to New York City philanthropists, the answer is to bribe them. A group of affluent do-gooders here in Manhattan will offer $1,000 to students who score 5s—the best possible score—on Advancement Placement exams, $750 for 4s and $500 for 3s. It’s a great moral message:
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Steinbrenner Ceding Power To Sons

Written by Jason Singer on October 15, 2007. Posted in Posts, Sports

The Boss is the boss no longer. Dictatorial owner George Steinbrenner, who has ruled the Yankees for the past 34 years with an iron-fist manner that would make even Stalin blush, has abdicated much of his power to his two sons—Hal and Hank. “George has taken on a role like the chairman of a major
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Jets Crash & Burn

Written by Jason Singer on October 15, 2007. Posted in Posts, Sports

During yesterday’s home game against the Philadelphia Eagles, the New York Jets wore the throwback navy and gold uniforms of the their previous incarnation, the New York Titans. In the fourth quarter, however, they still shrunk like the regular old Jets teams, withering under the pressure like little flowers in the desert sun. But Sunday’s
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Canadian Crush

Written by Jason Singer on October 12, 2007. Posted in Posts, Sports

Canada has never been very good at anything. Sure, their Eskimos make pretty good igloos and sure, their provinces would be great for Scrabble if proper nouns were allowed (Saskatchewan and Quebec, anyone?), but other than that, Canada’s quite lame. Except, of course, for hockey, and the Toronto Maple Leafs did their best to keep
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Israeli Team Outdraws Knicks At MSG

Written by Jason Singer on October 12, 2007. Posted in Posts, Sports

How bad have things gotten for the New York Knicks? Last night, at their first game at Madison Square Garden in nearly six months, more fans were actually cheering for the opposing team than the home team. Even worse: The opposing team was Maccabi Tel Aviv. That’s right. There was no Kobe Bryant or Lebron
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Islanders Prove Bigger Isnâ€™t Better

Written by Jason Singer on October 11, 2007. Posted in Posts, Sports

Over the past few seasons, the New York Rangers have tried to emulate the New York Yankees’ style of building a team, signing big-name free agents in the offseason and giving them enough cash to make Warren Buffett blush. Apparently, however, someone forgot to tell them that the Yankees suck. The Rangers lost 2-1 last
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