It was A-Rod’s third MVP award (2003, 2005), and his second with the Yankees. He earned $1.5 million in bonus money for winning the award, ending the contract he just opted out of and officially making him richer than God. Afterwards, Rodriguez spoke with reporters for about 30 minutes, affirming the only place he ever wanted to play was New York, and that that didn’t change even though he has played like a scared, four-year old girl in most pressure situations during his career. “I had many, many opportunities,” Rodriguez said. “There was a lot of interest from a lot of other teams and I felt I didn’t want to go anywhere.”

In fact, he felt so strongly about not going anywhere, he actually left the team three weeks ago to go somewhere else. Ingenious! Furthermore, he announced he was leaving on national television by opting out during the final game of the World Series. If that doesn’t say “I love you guys and I want to star right here forever,” I don’t know what does.

The strike has now lasted nine days, costing theaters and their
surrounding businesses about $2 million per day in lost revenue.
Meanwhile, shows have been canceled through next Sunday, meaning that
more than two dozen shows will miss the second most lucrative week of
the year.

Luckily, however, “How The Grinch Stole Christmas” will re-open its doors
tomorrow night at the St. James Theater because it has a separate
contract with the stagehands union. Despite their similarities, the
producers will not play the Grinch. But the LAT has already stolen
Thanksgiving on Broadway by ending negotiations last night, and if
talks keep stalemating, it won’t be long before they steal Christmas
too.

Michael Strahan led the way for the Giants, recording a season-high three sacks. The defense also forced four turnovers, and held the potent Lions offense to just one third-down conversion (1-for-10). Just one week after New York’s secondary demonstrated it had more holes than a pound of Swiss cheese, they actually played like professionals, coming up with three interceptions of Detroit quarterback Jon Kitna.

The Giants win was dampened, however, by two key injuries. Starting linebacker Mathias Kiwanuka broke his leg in the first quarter and is mostly likely out for the season. Running back Brandon Jacobs, who scored the Giants lone touchdown on a 10-yard pass play in the second quarter, injured his left hamstring and will be evaluated later today.

The win improved the G-Men to 7-4, and they now lead the Wild Card race. In an NFC that’s suffering from a serious case of osteoporosis, that should be enough to get them into the playoffs. But they need Jacobs to be OK if they want to go farther. This team was already thinner than Callista Flockhart, and that’s before Kiwanuka and Jacobs went down.

New York stormed the field as the kick wobbled through the uprights,
celebrating like they had just won the Super Bowl. It was both a nice
and pathetic moment for the 2-8 Jets, who apparently think second-to-last place is worth partying like it’s 1999. In fact, the last time they won a football game, Broadway still had plays, Marian Jones was still an Olympic champion and Bob Barker still hosted The Price is Right. Yep, it’s been awhile.

Quarterback Kellen Clemens went 14-for-31 for 162 yards, one touchdown
and one interception in his third NFL start, including an excellent
drive in the final minutes that led to a game-tying field goal with 23
second remaining in regulation. Clemens had a 15-yard scramble on the
drive as well, and threw the potential game-winning touchdown pass with
30 seconds remaining, but Brad Smith dropped it. Running back Thomas
Jones also had a big day, rushing for 117 yards on 30 carries.

Unfortunately, the Jets will face the Dallas Cowboys
on Thursday in a Thanksgiving special, which means their Mardi Gras
will only last four days before they return to their woeful ways. “It’s
just a great feeling to get a win,” linebacker Victor Hobson said after
the game. “We don’t look at ourselves like losers.” Considering their
record is just 2-8, I’m pretty sure they’re still losers.

Aside form their off-the-field problems, the Yankees have plenty of on-the-field issues to worry about too. Hall-of-Fame closer Mariano Rivera has rejected their absurd three-year, $45-million offer. The contract would have made Rivera that highest-paid reliever in baseball by far until he’s 40, which made about as much sense as cheating on your taxes when you have hundreds of millions of dollars. The only thing dumber than the offer was Rivera’s rejection of it—he wants a fourth year guaranteed—proving that A-Rod isn’t the only Pinstriper with a lower IQ than an autistic monkey.

Speaking of A-Rod, the Yankees and the image-conscious slugger have reached an agreement to bring Rodriguez back to New York. It will be for ten years and $275 million, the largest contract in the history of baseball, with massive incentives for setting the home run record. Between this, the Posada deal and Rivera’s offer, New York has now spent enough money this offseason to officially purchase a small country, which might not be such a bad idea. Their players could live there without paying taxes, and they wouldn’t have to get in trouble with the government.

According to one account, Marbury and head coach Isiah Thomas—while flying to Phoenix on Monday night—got into a verbal argument when Marbury learned from teammate Eddy Curry that he would be benched in favor of second-year player Mardy Collins. Marbury and Thomas argued for five minutes, and when Marbury returned to the back of the plane, he guaranteed he wouldn’t be replaced. “Isiah has to start me,” he said. “I’ve got so much shit on Isiah and he knows it. He thinks he can fuck me. But I’ll fuck him first. You have no idea what I know.”

According to another account, Marbury and Thomas actually exchanged punches. Is this joke? Are the Knicks just making shit up nowadays to toy the media? And how does Thomas still have a job? Just think about it: Marbury said we “have no idea” what he knows, that we can’t even fathom the dirt he has on Thomas. He’s saying this about a guy who was found guilty of sexual harassment this summer. So what exactly did Thomas do this time? Did he rob a bank? Did he kill someone?

One thing’s for sure: he killed the New York Knicks franchise. The once-proud organization lost again last night, their fourth-straight defeat, falling 84-81 to the Los Angeles Clippers. New York has now dropped four straight and sits at 2-5 overall. I guess maybe fighting each other is a good thing. After all, if they can’t beat other teams, they might as well beat each other.

The Yankees offered Rivera
a three-year, $45-million deal, despite the fact that he’s coming off
the worst year of his illustrious career. “He’d be by $4 million a year
the highest-paid relief pitcher,” Hank Steinbrenner said Tuesday. “To
say that’s a strong offer would be an understatement.” To say it’s a
dumb offer would be an understatement as well. Rivera turns 38 later
this month, and is clearly on the decline.

The Hall-of-Fame closer finished the season with a 3.15 ERA in 71.1
innings of work. His ERA was 250 percent high than it was in 2005, when
he posted a 1.38 ERA, and it skyrocketed from 2006’s 1.80 ERA. Not only
that, but his innings pitched have decreased every year over the past
four seasons. He’s nowhere near the dominant pitcher he once was, and
in three years, when he’s 40, he might not even be good enough to beat
the Pawtucket Red Sox, let alone Boston.

The Knicks fell 113-102 to the Phoenix Suns last night, in the first game of their four-game road trip. The loss dropped them to 2-4 overall, and they still have to visit the Los Angeles Clippers, Sacramento and Denver over the next four days. They’ll almost certainly leave the West Coast in last place in the Atlantic Division, and the team might have fewer members than some Native American tribes by the time they return home.

Aside from Starbury’s absence, Quentin Richardson (hyper-extended elbow) and Zach Randolph (grandmother’s death) have also been M.I.A. Marbury’s replacement, Mardy Collins, left last night’s game with an ankle sprain. It’s possible these are legitimate excuses, but it’s also possible these guys just don’t want to get booed anymore. After all, if I were a Knick, I’d fake an injury too.

Marbury, who self-destructed
like a videotape in a bad espionage movie during Sunday’s loss to
Miami, fully accepted blame for the defeat after the game. But
apparently, that wasn’t enough to save his job.

Unfortunately for New York, they’ve handled money worse than an Enron CEO
over the past few years, and they owe Marbury $42 million over the next
two seasons. Subsequently, they only can buy out his contract (making
him a free agent) or trade him, and moving that kind of contract is
nearly impossible.

Getting rid of Marbury would mark the end of another brilliant move by
Isiah Thomas, who acquired the egotistical, overpaid point guard in a
trade in 2004. And while it’s amazing Thomas has kept his job through
all of his poor decisions and a sexual-harassment suit, wasting more
money by buying out Marbury’s contract doesn’t seem like a way to get
back in Dolan’s good graces.

Of course, this might end up backfiring. Sure the students might
get good grades initially, but then they’ll get Knicks tickets as their prize, and
they’ll go to the games and see how much money you can make without a college
degree. Then they’ll go home, listen to their new Soulja Boy ring tones—maybe
even his song “Report Card”—and he’ll sing, “You know when you jut get
your report card and you have all Fs on it, you just want to take it back to the
teacher and say through some Ds on there bitch!” Yep, then all will be right in
the world.

Still, Schools Chancellor Joel I. Klein thinks something’s
got to change. “How do you get people to think about achievement in communities
where, for historical or other reasons, there isn’t necessarily demand for
that?” he said. “We want to create an environment where kids know education is
something you should want. Some people come to school with an enormous appetite
for learning and others do not — that’s the reality.” The problem is, kids don’t
necessarily have an appetite for learning under this plan, they have an appetite
for the perks that come with learning. When those run out, will they still want
to succeed?