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WEB EXCLUSIVE: Tiki Barber’s agent speaks about the former Giants’ intestinal fortitude and claims he’s not going to Tampa Bay

Written by Elie Mystal on . Posted in Posts, Sports

The transition from feature tailback to talk show sidekick has been rocky for Tiki Barber. He has tried to be as cutting and occasionally inflammatory as other sports commentators, yet he has been criticized as an athlete and disloyal teammate, instead of a burgeoning television analyst.

Barber’s longtime agent Mark Lepselter thinks that the media should lay off their new colleague. “Half the people that throw darts couldn’t take it themselves,” he said.

Unlike his predecessors, the loquacious Barber made his private thoughts about his former team very public. He wrote that Giants head coach Tom Coughlin took the joy out of football. He disparaged quarterback Eli Manning’s leadership abilities.
Then he sat back and watched his draconian former coach with his comical quarterback win Super Bowl XLII.  According to the New York tabloids, the dramatic turn of events has left Barber with egg on his face.

Read full "Tiki Barber" here.
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Sudden Death Electoral Overtime

Written by Elie Mystal on . Posted in Politics, Posts

The last person to figure out that Michael Bloomberg is running for president might well be Michael Bloomberg himself. His de facto exploratory committee is just the latest indication of how the mayor plans to spend his summer.

Opinions about Bloomberg’s electoral viability of are like, well, let’s just say everybody has them, including us. But the whole discussion of a possible third candidate gets my inner electoral college geek all hot and bothered. If you play around with the Electoral College map long enough (and you can play around with it to your hearts content over at www.270towin.com) you will soon run up against a Constitutionally inescapable fact. If no candidate receives at least 270 electoral votes – a majority of the electoral college – then the United States House of Representatives selects the President, while the U.S. Senate selects the Vice President. Ready for a little election break-down? Let's go...

Read full "Sudden Death" here.
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Eliot Spitzer Employed the Classic Donkey Strategy: “My Tail Fell Off… Again.”

Written by Elie Mystal on . Posted in Politics, Posts

Don’t just blame Eliot Spitzer. The Democratic response to Eliot Spitzer’s driver’s license plan is a case study in the singular ability of the donkey party to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

Mistake number one: Cowardice.  The moment Eliot Spitzer started taking heat, his fellow Democrats ran for cover like Sir Robin in Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy Grail.  Of course, if Democrats are folding under pressure from opinion polls, you can bet Hillary Clinton is somewhere out front, method-acting as a pretzel.  FYI, there are Republicans out there that still, against all manner of fact and logic, support the war in Iraq. The concept of a fire line was invented by Republicans.  Democrats?  We like water.

Read the full "Spitzer" here.


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Racial Harmony

Written by Elie Mystal on . Posted in Breaking News, Posts

Dale Hemmerdinger has already received more press coverage than one should expect for a potential commissioner of the MTA.  The attention he’s generated, however, entirely rests on his association with the Harmonie Club, which critics claim is exclusionary and de-facto racist. The critics are right insofar as the club does not have an African-American or [&hellip
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Strike That

Written by Elie Mystal on . Posted in Breaking News, Posts

When Karl Marx contemplated the fall of capitalism, he never anticipated large, robust, and effective labor unions. Marx never imagined that rich and powerful capitalist jackboots would allow workers to organize, unionize and halt production with crippling industry-wide walk outs and strikes. Well, Marx was wrong but be thankful: The ability of low paid, ill-treated [&hellip
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Subway Apathy

Written by Elie Mystal on . Posted in Breaking News, Posts

Listen up New York. We are about to collectively cede the right to complain about the subway system.  The MTA has been conducting a subway rider’s poll, and NY 1 has been dutifully reporting the results of the poll.  At last, here’s an opportunity to sound off on our overcrowded, under-funded  mass transit system. Yet, [&hellip
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Some Things Hurt More Than Hate

Written by Elie Mystal on . Posted in Posts

Apparently there’s a hate crime epidemic sweeping NYC this fall.  Perhaps the xenophobic and classless reaction to the villainous Mahmoud Ahmadinejad loosened up everybody’s virtriolic sphincter up there at Columbia.  But have no fear, the New York State Assembly is on the case. If Assemblyman Joseph Lentol has his way, hanging a noose in public [&hellip
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Rich People Win Again

Written by Elie Mystal on . Posted in Posts

Today, the Supreme Court ruled that Tom Freston was entitled to government reimbursement for his special needs child’s private school tuition. Freston, former CEO of Viacom, received an $84.5 million severance package when Sumner Redstone showed him the door less than a year into his tenure as head of the company.  Mr. Freston’s obscene wealth [&hellip
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Who Owns 9/11?

Written by Elie Mystal on . Posted in Politics, Posts

We need to stop feigning surprise when politicians politicize 9/11. Rudolph Giuliani has tried to copyright the phrase 9/11 and annex Ground Zero to his backyard.  The man literally acts like he’s married to the event.  If he keeps it up, there’s an outside chance that Giuliani will transubstantiate into 9/11. Despite these efforts, it [&hellip
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