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Virgin Mobile to New Yorkers: Youâ€™re stupid, buy our plans!

Dana Haitkin — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 09:58:17 +0000

Virgin Mobile recently launched a new “You Rule” campaign in New York City, targeting specific neighborhoods and their associated identities. But the ads aren’t coming off so much as praising as they are insulting. They’ve even accidentally put neighborhood-specific boards in the wrong neighborhoods. The Staten Island ads are particularly gruesome; here’s the text found all over the borough:

“Staten Island, you rule. The name says it all. You are truly an island, physically and mentally. Thank you for your front yards, detached garages and SUVs. Thank you for the ferry—the best cheap date ever. Thank you for being our down-to-earth, suburban, predominantly Italian-American cousins. To show our gratitude, we’ve got something for you. No, not baked ziti—cell phone plans without annual contracts, so you’re not locked in. And with no annual contract, you’re free to move between our other plans. Like you would on a bridge or ferry.”

Hold on a minute, buddy. Let’s count the oopsies in this ad: Staten Islanders are closed minded; they own the worst cars imaginable; they’re not real New Yorkers, they’re only the cousins of New Yorkers; all they think about is baked ziti; and, perhaps the most heinous, they’re scared of commitment!

Some of the boards in other boroughs get just as nasty, trash-talking downtowners by calling them “scruffy,” portraying Upper Eastsiders as stuck up and overly concerned with manners, making snide comments and innuendos about the gay scene in Chelsea and generally upholding various stereotypes in a particularly annoying fashion. How about this: Virgin Mobile, you suck.

Photo courtesy of x-eyedblonde on Flickr

It’s Almost BBQ Time

Dana Haitkin — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 10:41:36 +0000

What goes better with sticky bodies than sticky fingers? This weekend marks the 5th annual Big Apple Barbeque Block Party in Madison Square Park, where you can stuff yourself full of jazz, bluegrass, rhythm and blues and, of course, barbeque. The event will run from noon to six on Saturday and Sunday. Thirteen pitmasters will offer both the traditional fare and regional Southern specialties like fried pie and Brunswick Stew. Plates are $8 with desserts, and sides on the cheap run $4 to $6, beverages from $2 – $6.

While you dine, feast your eyes on The Budos Band, Naomi Davis & The Gospel Queens, Binky Griptite, James “Blood” Ulmer, The Rob Ryan Band, Prisoners of 2nd Avenue, Ryan Shaw and JJ Grey & MOFRO.

For those who want a little more out of the Barbeque world than protein, seminars are being offered in “Sandwiched Barbecue,” “Planet Barbecue,” “Barbecued Baloney, Bourbon & Beer,” “Something Better Than Barbecue,” “Beyond Barbecue,” “Make Your Own Rub” and “Authentic or Ethnic?”—a riveting question indeed.

Proceeds will benefit the Madison Square Park Conservancy, so your stomach, and those people who sit there during lunch every day taking up all of the benches when certain NY Press interns want to eat their peanut-butter sandwiches, will thank you.

Photo courtesy of permanently scatterbrained on Flickr

Less Crime? Sure. Weirder? Always.

Dana Haitkin — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 13:12:14 +0000

Mayor Bloomberg announced yesterday that, according to the FBI, NYC is still the safest large city to live in. Murders were up last year by 10 percent, but overall crime in New York decreased by 5.3 percent. Around these parts, there’s less trouble than anywhere else with a population of more than one million people. For every 100,000 residents, we have 2,517 crimes. That’s about 500 less than the first runner up, San Jose. But, in true NYC fashion, what does go down is usually on the weird side. From trying to chase criminals in your birthday suit to guys who shoot arrows through neighbors’ windows instead of going to strip clubs, there’s never a dull moment. (Even if those moments happen less often.)

Photo courtesy of FreaksAnon on Flickr

Both Big Brothers are Watching!

Dana Haitkin — Wed, 30 May 2007 17:51:28 +0000

Apparently, looking at the roof of your house from a satellite camera picture is just not a close-enough shot anymore. The latest competition between Google and Microsoft is The Battle of the Creepy 3-D City-View Applications. Yesterday, Microsoft launched its Live Search Maps, which give you the chance to see three-dimensional, photo-realistic views of New York City buildings and landscapes. And Google users will soon be able to see 180-degree photographs of the streets of Manhattan and pieces of the outer-boroughs. For a year and a half, Google has used a company called Immersive Media to send drivers all over the place in Volkswagon Beetles with 11-lensed cameras on top. They captured our stomping grounds at a speed of 30 frames per second, amassing 2,000 miles of footage in NYC alone. Google has stated its plans to update the images periodically, so don’t fret—if you left some embarrassing laundry drying on your fire escape, it will likely only be a couple of years before the pictures available to one and all on the glorious Internet are swapped for newer ones.

Photo courtesy of BitBoy on Flickr

Cheating Girlfriend Kills Boyfriend

Dana Haitkin — Wed, 30 May 2007 11:07:07 +0000

A pregnant woman in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn ran over her bicycling boyfriend with her Nissan Pathfinder this morning, killing him. Jeanine Harrington, 25, found herself driving down the wrong side of the street and over a curb, striking Jeffrey Moore, 47, and then backing up to do it all over again. If at first you don’t succeed… Eventually, she tired, pulled the crushed bike out from underneath her car and drove away from the scene. According to friends, she had already tried killing him once last week, by hitting him with her car—it seems her preferred weapon of choice—outside of a liquor store. But wait, there’s more melodrama to come! Harrington aka “Princess” ultimately abandoned the vehicle down the block from the home she shares with another man, according to police. Now if that isn’t adding insult to, uh, murder, we don’t know what is. Still, Harrington is nothing if not devoted, talk about finishing what you started.

Less Creepy Ice Cream Truck Melodies

Dana Haitkin — Mon, 21 May 2007 12:05:47 +0000

The sights and sounds of summer have been returning to the city at record pace: this morning’s Metro features people selling lemonade in McCarren park in Brooklyn, and the ice cream trucks have been making their noisy way through the streets despite only being allowed to play their jingle while in motion. If you find the same old Softee Song annoying, you’re not alone. Michael Hearst, of the indie band One Ring Zero, provides an entire album of alternatives to ice cream truck tunes, aptly titled, “Songs for Ice Cream Trucks.” While Mr. Softee trucks are all required to play their music-box standard, maybe the impersonators who got into trouble a couple of years ago will now have a different way to lure the kiddies. Samples of the songs are up on Hearst’s website, and he’ll be playing them at the Housing Works Used Book Café in Soho on May 26. If, on the other hand, you love reminiscing about sugar highs and push-pop mustaches to the standard songs of your childhood trucks, check out this post on WFMU’s blog, where you can find them all as mp3s.

Photo courtesy of Lex in the City on Flickr

Move The #($*%&@ Over, Buddy!

Dana Haitkin — Tue, 15 May 2007 12:30:17 +0000

Yesterday, a study done by AutoVantage was released naming New York City as the second worst city for road rage in the country. While we aren’t as busy or angry as Miami, where drivers are most likely to be found putting on makeup behind the wheel, we are most likely to cut over without notice. The only real shocker here is that we’re worse than Boston, where reckless drivers actually speed up and try to hit police officers! In the survey, road rage was defined as, “Angry or upset drivers, including out-of-control drivers and drivers who lose their temper,” and, “Bad or aggressive driving, including bad/careless/crazy and/or rude driving, cutting into lanes, cutting people off, tailgating, speeding and/or honking.” Who, us? We’re not sure how Bloomberg’s congestion charge will affect road ragers, but the words “rage” and “charge” usually go hand in hand.

Photo courtesy of manamanah on Flickr