Author Archive

Hot Chicks With Douchebags: The Manhattan Version

Written by Cate Smithson on . Posted in Arts & Film, Posts

Everyone knows that the two marks of a good blog are its ability to make fun of a person or group of people relentlessly and its eventual cultivation into a book. In light of Hot Chicks with Douchebags, the paperback spawn of hotchickswithdouchebags.com, hitting bookshelves everywhere this week, it feels appropriate to identify local douche spots that should be avoided like the plague. Our totally unscientific study reveals these, the five douchiest places in Manhattan, in no particular order...

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Bottled NYC Tap Water For Sale

Written by Cate Smithson on . Posted in Eat & Drink, Posts

As if the world needed reminding that the United States is a country full of senseless consumers with no real grasp on 1) the rapidly deteriorating ecology of the planet or 2) reality, a dubious company/beauty pageant called Miss New York City (their grammatically incorrect slogan is “the most pretty girl”) announced today that they are selling bottled tap water to the public (something Tokyo's Metropolitan Government Bureau of Waterworks started doing as a public awareness campaign). Lesson to learn: Stupid people will buy anything.

“There’s a market for it,” replied a man affiliated with Miss New York City who goes by Nzomo and whose official title is “operations.”

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It’s Magic: ‘Arrested Development’ Movie In the Works

Written by Cate Smithson on . Posted in Arts & Film, Posts

Jeffrey Tambor, aka George (and Oscar) Bluth from Fox’s Arrested Development, told EW.com that the movie spinoff of the critically acclaimed television is indeed in the works—and it’s for British eyes only! (If that doesn’t make sense, none of this will and you must buy all three AD seasons on DVD immediately.)

“After months of speculation, I think we have finally figured out for sure that we are indeed doing an Arrested Development movie,” said Tambor.  “I am very excited about that.  I love the cast and crew and I felt like we had more to say.”

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Bad Boy George So Naughty He Can’t Get a Visa and Must Cancel U.S. Tour; Can’t Sing Obama Song on ‘Today’

Written by Cate Smithson on . Posted in Music, Posts

Across the pond somewhere, Boy George is probably asking, “Do you really want to hurt me?” Due to a trial scheduled for November in London, George has been denied his visa by U.S. Customs and will be unable to make his stateside tour dates this summer, which were scheduled from July 10 to August 23. [&hellip
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Peta Reminds us of More Inconvenient Truths

Written by Cate Smithson on . Posted in Politics, Posts

As if your dreams of one day owning a Range Rover weren’t enough to give up, here’s one more previously guileless habit you must quit immediately lest you single-handedly bring on the course of events that take place in The Day After Tomorrow: meat eating.

Not content to gross America out with images of slaughterhouses and icky statistics (see “in every package of chicken, there’s a little poop” and “eating meat and dairy products causes impotence”), the folks at PETA have compiled a whole new slew of statistics that put each and every one of us environmentalist hypocrites, the ones who recycle but still have the audacity to order the occasional hamburger, to shame: apparently, meat consumption is the culprit of the largest human-caused sources of methane emissions. Put down that five-dollar footlong now!

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‘I Love the New Millenium’ Takes the Risk of Making Fun of You

Written by Cate Smithson on . Posted in Arts & Film, Posts

VH1 TV Shows Music Videos Celebrity Photos News & Gossip Good news: in the past eight years, popular culture icons have made such a mockery of themselves that VH1 couldn’t wait for the decade to finish before making fun of them in a week-long miniseries! Tonight at 9 marks the start of I Love the [&hellip
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‘Summer Streets’ a Way of Paying Back the City for Killing Congestion Pricing?

Written by Cate Smithson on . Posted in Breaking News, Posts

You know how much it sucks each year when the city’s traffic gets out of control as a result of the Puerto Rican Day Parade (an episode of Seinfeld comes to mind), the Gay Pride Parade, or just one of those generic "street fairs" which are really just an excuse to sell tube socks next [&hellip
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Knitting Factory Really Moving to Brooklyn?

Written by Cate Smithson on . Posted in Arts & Film, Posts

The speculation continues as to whether the Knitting Factory, time-honored and supercheap New York music club, is pulling up its stakes in search of greener pastures—or Brooklyn (but whatever). According to a recent post on brooklynvegan, a sign on the door of the now-defunct music club Luna Lounge in Williamsburg indicates that the spot could [&hellip
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No Rain Check: Get in Line for Red Hook IKEA

Written by Cate Smithson on . Posted in Posts

Is there a line outside your window in Midtown yet? Yeah, those would be the hordes of people possessed to wait for 48 hours to buy a sofa whose name they can’t pronounce. The grand opening of IKEA in Brooklyn is nigh, so anyone looking to justify their $3,000-a-month studio apartment rent with the purchase of a coffee table that’s a downright steal, drop everything and make way for Red Hook immediately!

Brooklyn-dwellers forced to make room for that burns-the-retina combination of blue and yellow on their skyline have been less than enthused about the store for quite some time now, despite claims from the folks at IKEA that the new location will provide jobs for Red Hookers (pardon the moniker) and mend the neighborhood’s racial divide. Chiefly among many people’s concerns is the effect the new store will have on already slow-moving traffic in the area.  (I myself am not much looking forward to sharing a subway car with the Tylösand chaise lounge.)  But buck up, ye who dare to clog the city with your assembly-not-included happiness and piss off an entire outer borough!  IKEA wants to reward you for coming out early with goodies galore:

The first 35 adults in line on June 18 will receive a free Ektorp sofa, a $399 value.  After that, the next 100 adults will receive a Poäng chair, an $89 value. The first 100 children in line will receive...

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