Author Archive

Starbucks’ Temporary Closing Pisses Off Dunkin Donuts Customers

Written by Becca Tucker on . Posted in Eat & Drink, Posts

Starbucks is all about customer service these days. They’re doing things like handing out customer surveys and giving out $5 gift cards to customers who’ve had to move seats to accomodate a book signing. In a couple hours, from 5:30 to 8:30 p.m., they’re closing their 7,100 stores across the U.S. for three hours of [&hellip
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American Gladiators Most Harrowing Event: The Open Casting Call

Written by Becca Tucker on . Posted in Breaking News, Posts

It was not my idea. I haven't watched American Gladiators in fifteen years. Until a week ago, I didn't even know it was back on the air. I now think of those days as the B.G. era, and oh, how I long to return.

Last Wednesday, I got an email from the only other woman I know whose testosterone level matches mine, who makes up games and then alters the rules to make sure she wins. She's even got my same initials, or I guess I've got hers. The email sounded like Hulk Hogan was dictating: "American Gladiator Tryouts - this SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!! WHO'S WITH ME????????????? I AM SO GOING TO THIS." I responded instantly: "i could not be more IN," and printed out the 28-page application and a picture of me looking ripped, even bought sweatpants and a sports bra from KMart when I got home from work Friday too late to pick up my laundry. So when BT texted at 10:20 Friday night that she had to bail because she had "way too much to do," it was too late for me to back out.

The doors to Crunch gym at 38th and Broadway opened at 10 a.m. Saturday morning. I got there at 9:11 a.m. -- having woken up at an ungodly 7:45 a.m. to get here from a friend's place in Brooklyn -- to join a line of about 4,000 people, some of them camped out since midnight, wrapped all the way around the block. This is an expression that gets tossed around, so let me make clear that I mean it quite literally. I was standing twenty yards from the entrance to Crunch, in a procession that filed around the corner from 38th Street onto Broadway, down Broadway, across 37th Street, up 7th Avenue, and back onto 38th Street, and then into Crunch. NBC had grossly underestimated just how many people desperately wanted to get shot by tennis ball canons on national TV. There was no chance we were all going to make it in and out of one small gym by 4 p.m. Had I grasped that, I like to think I would have peeled off and salvaged my Saturday, like the school teacher in front of me in line who, when we hadn't turned the corner by 11 a.m., called it a day.

Instead, I got a cappuccino and called my brother. "Oh my god, you'd be perfect, Bec!" he
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The Subway as its Own Platform

Written by Becca Tucker on . Posted in Posts

"This is 110th Street. Next stop is 116th. Don’t forget to vote, if you haven’t already," a subway announcer told a full northbound 1 train at 7:30 last night. After a decisive pause—that he’d probably been practicing all day—he added: "Barack Obama." Some perfunctory research and crude estimating reveals that he was addressing around 210 people, [&hellip
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Like Herpes, Mean Posts Saying You Have Herpes Never Go Away

Written by Becca Tucker on . Posted in Breaking News, Posts

Two Yale Law School students are suing for defamation, after posters using pseudonyms on AutoAdmit.com, "the most prestigious college discussion board in the world," said the two women had Herpes, were — gasp — lesbians, were into group sex, had AIDS, and worst of all, had low LSAT scores. Those posts, which had titles like "stupid-bitch-to-attend-yale-law," [&hellip
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