Attitude to Spare

| 11 Nov 2014 | 01:57

    It’s old news that Bushwick is where all the poor artists were pushed when Williamsburg rents skyrocketed. Everyone knows that it’s supposed to be grimy and tough in that “we all have balls” kind of way. But let’s be honest: Bushwick is basically just Brooklyn’s open landfill for broken umbrellas and chicken bones. But if you’re ever inclined to march through garbage in search of a decent cup of coffee and bagel, allow me to direct you to a couple of places.

    Potion Café 248 McKibben St., B’klyn 718-628-5470

    Potion is by far the most aesthetically pleasing café in Bushwick. Easily missed, it’s tucked into a warehouse across from the trendy McKibben lofts. They serve strong coffee, good pastries, mid-range bagels and have a small but serviceable sandwich menu. (I’d recommend the cheddar and pesto on a croissant.)

    There are couches, a bar and tables and they also serve mimosas, wine and beer ($3 Red Stripes!). The artwork on the wall doesn’t make me want to gouge out my eyeballs, and the high ceiling, brick walls and eclectic décor make me feel as though I’m hanging out in an artist/musician friend’s studio. But they ignore me every time I say, “Dude, those tribal drums gotta go. They are so 1996.”

    The downfall? The space is really small and, while the person next to you is describing in excruciating detail the climax of their next experimental student film, the person at the bar is writing the next Great American Novel. That said, the air is somehow surprisingly clear of pretension, and it’s definitely the best café in the neighborhood. If you can find a seat.

    Perks: Free WiFi, 50-cent refills, eye candy

    Archive 49 Bogart St.(betw. Grattan & Moore Sts.), B’klyn 718-381-1944

    If Archive was placed in, say, the Lower East Side, it’d just get an apathetic “meh” for a review. But in a neighborhood lacking multiple options, it’s an area staple. The space is devoid of personality, but it does have two large communal tables in the center that make it easy to be obnoxious: Go ahead and take up too much space with your laptop, newspaper, weeklies, art pads, etc.

    The only food besides standard bagels and pastries are prepackaged paninis and salads and soup. Besides Potion Café, it’s the only other place to get decent coffee until you trek into the real heart of Bushwick, a few blocks east. Just remember to take a dump before you head there: In order to use their bathroom, you have to get their key, have an employee unlock the first door and then you unlock the bathroom; then you go down another hall and actually exit the building through a different door and then go back into the café and return the key. WTF is that? It’s like labyrinth, without the benefit of David Bowie’s package.

    DVDs are available for rent as well, but the selection is obviously based on hipster demand and film-school must haves, which is kind of convenient when my friends come over to watch movies and all I have from Netflix is all the embarrassing chick flicks I drunk-ordered last week.

    Plus, there’s this one adorable barista with big curly hair who is so hippie-friendly that she makes me nostalgic for Northern California. I want to put her in my pocket and have her sing me to sleep.

    Perks: Free WiFi, good cookies, instant typecast upon entrance