Apparently, no one is exempt from frivolous lawsuits in the city, not even the homeless. Karl Kemp, owner of Karl Kemp Antiques, is suing four unnamed homeless people for $1 million. The vagrants, dubbed “John Smith,” “John Doe,” “Bob Doe” and “Jane Doe” in court papers, were allegedly scaring away customers with their uncouth manners, supposedly affecting Kemp’s bottom line. According to the suit, Kemp cites “sleeping on the sidewalk,” “consuming alcoholic beverages from open bottles” and “performing various bodily functions such as urinating and spitting” as his rationale for the legal action. Interestingly, he publicly claims that he’s only worried about the individuals’ health, and suggests they should be in one of the city’s many homeless shelters. A compassionate notion, if we could believe it was sincere.