HIP TO BE SQUARE

By Ben Kharakh

Everybody’s got an obsession. Maybe you own parts of the original “Star Trek” set or have a cache of Snickers from every year since 1977. Regardless, it’s yours and you’re keeping it private. But comedian Julie Klausner wants you to share your fixation with pride. “If a person isn’t obsessed with something, they’re probably really boring. It’s cool to be a nerd who’s really into something—like Broadway or Warcraft,” says Klausner. “But losers aren’t obsessed with anything. Give me a nerd over a loser any day.”

Every month, Klausner and comedian Jackie Clarke host Obsessed at Mo Pitkin’s, a variety show where they and guests celebrate their nerdom. Take for example the March show, which will feature Joe McGinty from The Loser’s Lounge performing a medley comprised of his favorite failed musicals like Carrie and others. “The biggest surprise was Stephen Baldwin from Brooklyn Parrot,” says Clarke, “What a goddamn delight: He’s obsessed with preserving Brooklyn’s parrots, and he has the name of a born-again Baldwin. Already he’s perfect, but he also answered all of my questions about my step-mother masturbating my parrot with a compassionate and informative tone.”

Obsessed isn’t open only to celebrities, though. “I’d like to book someone who has no idea he’s obsessed,” says Clarke. “Like a tax accountant who legally changes his name to Luke Skywalker.  Someone whose vibe is ‘I might kill you.’ Also, a fan fiction author, sports super fans, virgins in their fifties—someone who’s seen a turdy show like Mama Mia hundreds of times, a prison guard …”

Klausner’s quick to notice the flaw in Clarke’s list. “Jackie’s list is mostly just people she’d like to meet. There’s only a minimal amount of obsession-themed answers in that list. What’s a prison guard obsessed with, Jackie? Besides loneliness?”

March 18, at Mo Pitkin’s, 34 Avenue A (at 3rd St.), 212-777-5660; 7, $6.

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