By Dr. Dot
drdot@drdot.com

Q. Me and my best friend decided to treat my boyfriend to a special birthday present. Since it’s basically every guy’s dream to have two women at once in bed, I thought it was best to do it with someone I know, and not some stranger (don’t want any diseases). It was so hot licking my girlfriend’s tiny pussy until she came in my mouth, and all the while having my boyfriend watch as he pleasured himself (the only rule was he couldn’t touch her, he could just watch). It was super-exciting, but now my best friend is acting different, like she wants more of me. Since that night, she flirts with me and is super-clingy. How can I tell her it was just a one-time deal without losing my friend? I had fun, but I am not gay, or even bi. I am starting to think she is, though.

Confused Connie

A. Most women have at least kissed another female and can lick pussy better than most men can. Why? Because we have one. The problem is, she has probably never had it done correctly before. Just meet with her in a cafe and tell it like it is—I can’t stand it when people beat around the bush. Tell her that you love your boyfriend, and that you still love her as a friend, but you are not a muff-diver by trade. Help her learn how to direct her next conquest when it comes to oral sex. Men can do it just as good if they have been with a verbally direct woman. She just needs to tell the next person who goes down on her how to do it exactly like she likes it, and (hopefully) her infatuation with your magic mouth will end.

Q. I am addicted to porn, is there a cure?

Wanking Wilbur

A. No. You could get a job (or a girlfriend) to keep you busy; then you wouldn’t have so much time for your “addiction”.

Q. I am a happily married 39-year-old man. My wife and I are largely compatible on a lot of levels: intellectual, emotional, sexual and social. She is a fantastic woman—reasonable, tolerant, giving and, beneath her respectable facade, a freaky little freak. My only consistent complaint has to do with the fact that she appears to be unwilling or unable to maintain any level of physical fitness. She is still attractive to me, but the lack of “tone” is starting to be bothersome. This is one of the few topics about which she is less than sane. This bothers me on several levels. On one hand, I want her to be healthy and happy in her own skin, and it seems she’s happier when she’s fit. On the other hand, I am in pretty good shape for a guy pushing 40, and would like to come home to someone who looks pretty good naked. Any suggestions on how I can encourage her without pissing her off?

Fit to Be Tied

A. The only thing you can do is to get active with her and fill the house with healthy foods. Mentioning it to her will only make her eat more and resent you! Get busy, ask her to walk with you, go swimming, fuck more often, give her a health club membership for Valentine’s Day; things like that, nothing too obvious. Or, you could shock her into getting into shape. Since she is so “freaky,” set up a video camera and film some of your sex sessions. Then, when you both watch it together, she will finally see what you have to look at: a flabby version of your hot wife.