By Caeriel

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

“It almost seems too good to be true.” Jinx words, baby. Don’t say them, especially not in the wrong company. This week you can cruise through potentially dangerous or difficult situations with nary a scratch, bump, or hitch, without even trying all that hard. Naturally, I understand that such godsends make you slightly paranoid Capricorns suspicious. Voicing your reservations, however, can only call attention to how easy you have it at the moment—an observation that might have escaped noticed otherwise. It’s at this point that your naysayers and rivals might choose to stick out a foot and trip you up. Too good to be true? Well, shut up about it and it might stay that way.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Out of sight, out of mind—an attitude you’ve been accused of espousing. You suck at keeping in touch, and anyone who’d contemplate a long-distance relationship with you is mad. You could spin this attitude as somehow enlightened: “I’m just being present.” But it won’t cut it, not this week, when your distant friends need you to feel close and engaged. Keeping your finger on the pulse of what’s happening in your local scene is all well and good, but this week you’ve got to do more. You’ve got a few more fingers—might there be a few more pulses you could be keeping track of?

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Pisceans have tremendous imaginations. These, coupled with phenomenal intuition, are usually sources of inspiration, energy, and even psychic power—if you believe in that shit. But they can also be fonts of powerful self-delusion, and often are, especially when a Fish is going through an exceptionally stressful time. This is no critique; everyone buffers their ego through a break-up, firing, or other rejection, by stretching the truth, skewing a perspective, and telling a white lie or two. It’s no big deal, but please be aware: the further you veer from the sharp-edged, perhaps unflattering, unadorned truth, the less likely you are to evolve and learn from it—and the more likely something just like this will happen again (and again).

Aries (March 21-April 19)

You thought that bridge was burned, didn’t you? Luckily you shied away from the extreme you were nearly driven to, when events unfolded years back. This week you get a chance to—if not retract—at least make reparations for an error you made ages ago. Nothing’s ideal at this point; Imagine trying to fix someone’s life after wrongly incarcerating them for twenty years. It’d be hard to get him to regard his life as anything but ruined. Luckily, your mistakes weren’t quite so damaging. However, don’t expect that making up for them will be easy—just easier than living with them for even one more day.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

“Many human beings say that they enjoy the winter, but what they really enjoy is feeling proof against it.”—Richard Adams (fellow Taurus). Keep his words in mind this week. Finding that you’re sufficiently buffered or otherwise immune from adversity can make the supposed difficulties you experience this week a pleasure, not a curse. In other words, when problems present themselves, don’t freak. Examine them more closely. Do they actually have the power to hurt you or divert you from your course? Chances are, probably not. It’s just like being inside during a howling blizzard, curled under a blanket with a cup of cocoa and a good book: something to relish, not lament.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

I used to get frustrated with Geminis. I found you difficult and confusing, until I came up with a kind of visualization that helped me. Now I imagine that you’re actually two people: a pair of conjoined twins who’ve learned to cooperate expertly and forge an amazing variety of compromises to honor their intentions and desires—which are often at odds with each other. It may not be an accurate vision, but it fit with my observations of your behavior, so it helped me deal. Giving shape you can understand to the frustrations of your life can help you, similarly, address them with compassion and patience—even if it’s a kind of white lie, isn’t that better than the kind of misery you’re experiencing now?

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Here’s your first big test of your New Year’s resolutions. Are they well-designed? Did you think them through and come up with a handful of intentions that could really improve the way you live your life? Or are they the sort of slapdash boilerplate crap that most people spew out on December 31st and give up on by January 5th? The intensities of this week’s Leo Full Moon, frothing and churning around you like a wild high tide, will soon reveal how seriously you’ve intended to restructure your existence. Will you sink beneath their overwhelming force, swim well enough to keep your head above water, or surf the swells to new heights?

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

You beast. I admire the lusty instinctive forces at work within you this week, but others might not understand or appreciate them as much as I do. There’s no point in trying to suppress the healthy, powerful, and fun primal intensity surging through you. However, a bit of warning to your less spontaneous friends might help them enjoy your wild ways, rather than be put off by them. Something like renting out a gorilla suit—although feel free to opt for some slightly more subtle alternative—could help shift their assessment of your current freakiness from “alarmingly unpredictable” to “strangely charming.”

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

I love the home stretch: that glorious finish line ribbon fluttering just ahead, a final all-out sprint, and the wonderful sense of relief that accompanies the successful completion of a task. Many Virgos, however, get more of a thrill from an untouched to-do list than one that’s almost all crossed off. I think they find the prospect of undirected freedom slightly terrifying. This week, however, you’ve got to deal with that feeling. What to do after you’ve crossed the finish line? There’s nothing you have to do. Anything goes. Daunted? Well the only way to get from intimidated to animated is to play it out and get good at going somewhere good without maps or destinations—without anything, in fact, but space.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Won’t you join me—and everyone else you know—for a cup of tea? You need some companionable downtime at the moment, after the frenzy of the last month or so. A cup of tea is just about the right speed: low commitment, gentle conversation, and a chance to simply chill out and recover from so many recent ups and downs. Everything’s been so intense lately. While that’s not a bad thing, it’s just too exhausting to keep up. Becoming a hermit—your natural inclination under the circumstances—is just as extreme, however, in its own way. Therefore I recommend being as social as you can this week, but keep it as low key as you can, too.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

This week you may find a diamond while you’re working in the coalmines. This impressive feat may fill you with excitement, but don’t get too worked up yet. It remains to be seen whether you’ll be allowed to keep it or not (probably not). But whether or not you’re permitted to pocket the tiny blessing that comes your way this week, the situation itself will shed some light on your own status amongst those you love and/or work with. Not happy about the results of your bit of luck? Now’s the time to change them, before you’re forced to give up more than just a sparkly bit of rock.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

How cruel is it to be tricked into believing you won the lottery? On the one hand, you’ve got to endure the crushing disappointment that comes from finding out it’s not true (along with the humiliation of being had). But on the other hand, you get to (at least briefly) experience the excitement and elation of winning big bucks—a feeling that doesn’t come along all that often. Is it worth it or not? That’s your call, and luckily you get to make it for yourself this week. Would you rather win and lose (or love and lose), or never play (or love) at all?