By Paul Krassner

DROPPING OUT What if there were no Electoral College? Al Gore would now be running for reelection, and Democrats would be warning that a vote for Ralph Nader is a vote for John McCain. In the 2000 election, there were 50,999,897 votes for Gore, as opposed to 50,456,002 votes for George Bush.

Last week, there were a few pieces in the media about the Electoral College. One was in USA Today and the other was in TheSpoof.com. Below are excerpts from each. Which story is from which?

1. "Even as President Bush accepted the Republican nomination Thursday and the final chapter of the campaign began, strategists in both camps were preparing for an unprecedented situation when it ends. An Electoral College tie. Shifts in electoral votes and the realities of an evenly divided nation mean there is a credible case that the final tally in Bush vs. Kerry could be 269-269—an outcome that would throw the election to the House of Representatives....

"The Constitution outlines what follows in case of a tie, which has happened only once, in 1800. The newly elected House of Representatives chooses the president from the top three finishers; each state has one vote. The newly elected Senate chooses the vice president; each senator has a vote... This time, the process presumably would favor Bush. Republicans control 30 of the 50 state delegations in the House; the GOP almost certainly will keep control in the November elections. Republicans now have 51 seats. But if Democrats regain an edge in the Senate—which is conceivable—the choice for vice president could get interesting. A George W. Bush-John Edwards administration?"

2. "All 538 electors of the U.S. Electoral College unanimously vetoed a permanent recess of the U.S. Electoral College and ban on all Electoral College methods of carrying out national elections today. Earlier this month the landslide referendum on ending the system led to support for a bill in Congress. The executive branch then subsequently signed that bill. The Electoral College's actions taken to undo the ban come as a major setback to thousands of politicians and millions of citizens who campaigned in favor of a ban... Detractors purportedly include up to 75% of the United States population."

The Electoral College system was originally designed in part to cater to slavery and to accommodate the disfranchisement of women. A few months ago, I sent a letter to Hillary Rodham Clinton. An excerpt:

"[I]n the wake of the debacle in Florida that led to Bush being in the White House, you promised to do your best to get rid of the Electoral College system. Were you able to get anything going along those lines? If so, what transpired? And if not, what were the obstacles? I would very much appreciate hearing from you."

I have yet to receive a reply. o